Happy new year!

Hi everyone and Happy New year! Hope you are all doing well! I wish you all a good year.

I know some of us have had it tough and we wished we had less bad luck, because sometimes your best is not good enough when too many issues pile up.

Some may think they have the best advice for you, how they would have foreseen or had been better prepared than you, I don’t think they say these out of malice but I just wanted to tell you something since I mostly see people giving poorly researched advice, and what I want to say is:

You probably did your best, nobody wants to fail on purpose, I think that is universal. If you explained to me what happened I’d probably understand, though I would also judge you because using  your judgement is generally a good thing. If all the people in the world had full bellies and rested heads our ability to make good judgement calls would be much better.

So don’t forget to take care of yourself if you can, I know it can be a lot to remember when everything is so busy and we’re constantly exhausted.

The reason I made Ernest was to share a bit of cozy comfort. He can keep a secret and you can tell him everything and his new year resolution is to be better pal for you and listen to your troubles, because in the end we’re all looking for a bit of sympathy and understanding. Even when we totally mess up and do every stupid thing we were told not to, it probably seemed like a good idea at the time.

That was my two cents on new year resolutions and I wish you the best!

 

In other updates:

I finished my little trilogy Estranged encounter, if there is more demand for those types of stories I may ad more as I always have ideas for that type of bizarre narrative.

New Niels Feynman story pages coming up in two weeks and I’ve begun to look for representation for all my stories so in the upcoming months I’ll be looking  for a literary agent…or more, I write different genres and mediums so I’ll probably need more than one, not sure how this stuff works, but wish me luck!

Also I opened a discord server. After much deliberation I decided to get with the times and make my own discord server and hopefully create a cozy place for artists to get together, share and learn new skills.

If you wish to join us please do so with this link: https://discord.gg/Q5MeNHX

For a full view of all my current and future plans please go to my projects page.

Hugz,

Hisame

Estranged encounter – glimpse V

-You’re finally here! She exclaimed. Hurry, follow me.

The place looked renovated now, he noticed as he was following her down the corridor. “I’ve never had consecutive dreams in the same location before.” He thought and he could still remember his old real life. This was pretty new; this new-found skill was only a few months old.

– Please wait here, someone will call you in. Said the woman in white.

She looked familiar to him, he thought, as he sat down in an a wooden chair that was placed next to the door she went though. The old ornate, padded chair felt very soft and comfortable. The whole location was in fact quite beautiful and reminded him of palaces and museum he visited in west Europe. There wasn’t this much wealth in his country. Or maybe the place looked like some video games he played. In the end, he decided it was a mix of the two.

Ever since the first attack he started dreaming more and more that he was attacked, but the worst were the ones that he could not distinguish dream from reality, the ones that took place in his bedroom and he could not move or in places he knew very well. But this seemed like one of the nice dreams.

He enjoyed being an explorer and adventurer, it reminded him of his favorite game, Y.A.N.A. online. He couldn’t remember the full name, some memories it seems he no longer had access to in his dreams. He tried to see what else he couldn’t remember.

– My guild members are: Ondrej_ty founder, SeaBacon elder, SpunkyMonkey, f010 …uhhh… Gods! That kid has a horrible ID, must be Chinese…they have wacky names with numbers.

The door opened and she called to him. “You can come in now.”

About seven men were sitting at a long table in front of him and it was reminiscent of a university club he applied for many years ago. Their smug faces pissed him off imediatly.

The woman is white spoke for him and they made plan for his travel and mission, and he just stood there as decoration. Eventually he managed to wake up.

– Phaaah! He exhaled while lying in his bed.

“It’s my dream damn it! I should be able to conger up a flame thrower and set their smug little asses on fire. What’s the point of having a lucid dream if I can’t control it?!

After a few moments he had calmed down and realized that for some reason when dreaming, his emotions were always stronger and faster then when awake.

– Well … at least I’m no longer afraid. When I get chased and I get away most times. It’s actually getting fun to explore all the tunnels and strange cities.”

So he closed his eyes hoping to return to one of the post-apocalyptic cities he dreamt of. As his mind drifted into sleep, he tried to visualize all the overlapping highways and lush vegetation and the subway station that took him to the city. “Maybe I can enter though there.” He whispered to himself.

He managed to return to sleep and it was pitch black. He could only feel his thoughts and himself. So, he turned around to look for something, anything, and saw a lit lamppost in the distance. He walked to it and as he came closer to he saw there was a woman right at the edge of the light.

As he stepped into the light to come close enough to see her facial features she raised her left arm and pointed over the rim of the ornate stone bridge they were on. He turned to look and could see nothing so he stepped closer to the edge, in-between two of the lion statues adorning the bridge and he could be hear a faint rumbling of engines far away. By the time he touched the cement railing the engines could be heard right under him and a swarm of motorcycles gushed forth like a river of fireflies. He raised his head to see where they were going but they just slipped and disappeared into the city skyline as water seeps into cracked earth.

He turned his head to look at the shadowed woman for answers to the meaning of what he was shown but she was already walking away. He pursued, but she dissolved into the darkness and he could only hear her footsteps on the cobble stones. He persisted in following until he could no longer hear her. And then he reached the end of the bridge and saw her glide in and out of another lamppost light across the street.

She moved as fast as a cat and seemingly much faster when walking in the dark than when she walked in the light of the sparsely spaced lampposts. Her tight black leather clothes made him think she did resemble a cat.

As he tried to cross the street he tripped on the metal railway of the city’s trolley system and then he felt the ground shake as if a tram was coming toward him, but he could not see any and so he panicked.

He woke up, and he felt as though an echo of tremor had followed him into the real world.

The air was stale and he couldn’t breathe so he got up and opened a window to gaze upon his city. It was white, slightly sprinkled with snow.

“It will not last long.” He thought and then remembered how much more beautiful things looked in video games and movies, “That beauty is eternal”.

Later that day, at work, he found out there was an earth quake, near his city, at Донецк.

Estranged encounter – glimpse IV

He opened his eyes, but it was so dark he couldn’t see anything. He was lying in bed and he could hear something moving in the dark.

“A break-in!” He first thought. But he had nothing worth stealing. He listened carefully for any sound and could hear footsteps and claw scratches as if a dog was walking on his linoleum floor.

The creature stepped on his bed; he could feel its weight shifting from one leg to another. He couldn’t turn his head to see it, only his eyes. And then it stepped into his field of vision, eyes like scorching coal lighting its skull.

Before he could get a good look at the creature it sank its teeth around his neck. Warm blood was gushing out as he struggled to regain sense of his limp body. The pain took his breath away.

He couldn’t keep his eyes open anymore and just as the pain began to dull and a feeling of sleepiness started to take hold his left arm finally did what he had been desperately trying to make it do. He hit the creature over the head and it dissolved into a thick smoke.

Scared, he scrambled out of bed quickly and ran into the bathroom. He closed the door behind him and waited while holding his neck.

Nothing came; no sound was audible so he looked in the mirror hastily. No bite marks were visible so he took his shirt off and again no trace of any lesions. He touched his neck again and it hurt.

After some cold water on his face he felt more lucid. “What’s happening?” He asked himself. He seemed to be alone in the apartment so he grabbed his mop, for protection, from behind the washing machine and slowly began to turn on the lights in every room all the while looking for what it attacked him.

It was a quarter past 3 in the morning. He’ll have to go to work soon. He can’t go back to sleep, his heart is still racing, the adrenaline still in his veins. “I haven’t felt like this since I almost got hit by a bus.” He looked at his hands and they were still trembling a bit, so he put a kettle on the stove for tea. “This will calm me down.” He thought.

He decided to do an internet search for what happened. After all who could he call at this time of day? “SeaBacon  may be online; it’s 1 o’clock in Britain.” But he was not.

His desk was facing the wall so he pulled it and moved his chair so his back would be against the wall. He couldn’t bear to sit in his bed again, he still felt scared. He knew it was silly but he figured nobody could see him anyway. He opened his laptop and started to search all the while he peeked over it to check the room.

“Sleep paralysis. Looks like it.” He concluded after consulting Wikis and WebMD pages. “But it seemed so real.” He couldn’t shake the feeling of fear off. “ Lucid dreaming … nightmare.” He mumbled. “Causes … include stress. Yeah, well … who isn’t stressed?”. His body felt cold after the adrenaline wore off but the feeling of fear persisted in his gut and he started to feel annoyed he couldn’t shake it off. It was as if he didn’t have control over his body which only increased his overall feeling of anxiety.

Estranged encounter – glimpse III

He walked the dirt path toward the mansion. A big and old, brick and concrete building stood between large mounds of soil as rusty leaves flew from the nearby trees only to be crushed by his feet. They cracked under his weight.

The whole building was decorated with ornate shapes and small statues. “What beautiful things we can make out of poured stone.”He thought to himself while climbing the concrete stairs up to the mezzanine.

A feeling of familiarity guided him to his room, for otherwise the building was void of life. He went to lie down on his bed.  A cool breeze passed between the open balcony door and hallway door as sleep seemed to take a hold of him.

As he closed his eyes a red fox plunged its teeth into his throat. Panic took hold of him as he struggled to break free. He could see only red fur and feel his neck constrained, unable to breathe. He punched it and it relented, letting go of his neck. It then quickly ran out the balcony door.

He touched his neck expecting to feel blood but found none. After taking a deep breath he noticed a little fluffy white fox in the balcony doorway. Scared he looked around for something to defend himself with and noticed a broom next his bed. The white fox also ran out the door so he pursued. There was no one on the mezzanine balcony, only dead leaves and pieces of the crumbling building.

It was autumn and he wondered why he didn’t notice before. The dirt road he came on emerged from a bamboo forest and he realized what a beautiful autumn forest surrounded them. Rusty red and golden yellow deciduous trees were surrounding the jade green bamboo.

His eyes followed the road to him and he saw a black fox bellow his balcony. It had ember eyes and was looking straight at him. He clenched his broom handle expecting more problems, but it just stood up on its hind legs and walked away.

“I’m dreaming!” he exclaimed. “Oh!” he exhaled relieved. His fears began to subside and he woke up.

He felt his face with his hand and then checked his throat again. He could feel his body much better now, his sense of smell was better too. “My senses are dulled but my fears are so much greater.” He thought to himself. “That is how I know it’s a dream.”

It was a hot and sweaty summer day, but at least it was weekend. He can play some videogames and Y.A.N.A. online just released a new story line.

 

Estranged encounter – glimpse II

She was screaming at the top of her lungs about what a disappointment he was , how she should have listened to her girlfriends and never married him.

Her red curly hair dangled as she shook her head in desperation, the intensity of her fury somehow did not permeate his world  and her verbal blows seemed like a distant echo .

Broken promises …unwilling to rise and move on …

But who was this woman and was he really married to her? He looked puzzled at his finger for the proof and suddenly a wave of rage came over him and he was yelling just as loud at her , he wanted to hit her , he really did.

He fell asleep in his chair again , the secretary slammed some boxes into door and they fell on the floor. She was always very clumsy and disinterested.

He blinked and wiped his face with his hands , his neck hurt from sleeping in an uncomfortable position. He then stopped to look at his left hand as though to make sure it was all a dream and that he wasn’t married …oddly enough his finger felt a phantom constriction and he massaged his hand so shake away the creepy feeling.

Today was the 3rd of January , it is his mother’s birthday , he should call her and maybe say something nice…yes…that would be polite.

Estranged encounter – glimpse I

He awoke suddenly, the screeching of the subway breaks still echoing in his ears. The rhythmic balancing of the subway cart was eerily soothing.

As he looked around confused at the old wooden chairs he noticed a illuminated plaque on the upper part of the front side wall. The small L.E.D.s changed from the word “NEXT” to the word “LOXLEY”.

The chair he was sitting on was made from a hard wood with a shape meant to straighten the back. His hand touched what appeared to be his backpack.

He was alone in the cart.

Eventually he got up and stumbled to a map of the subway network as the cart swayed and swong, but after looking at it for awhile he noticed his face in the window. The black exterior of the tunnel made the window into a rudimentary mirror. He was wearing a brown leather jacket  with a blue shirt and after looking down surprised he noticed his beige pants and brown+ leather boots that were almost to his knee.

The train stopped and the oval wooden doors on the right retracted and so he got off.

In front of him was a small coffee shop , seemingly embedded into the brick wall. The pattern of the brick was convergent to a point on the top of station from where a electrified chandelier hanged in an comic attempt to illuminate the area.

Additional lanterns were on the walls leading to the circular staircases of both sides of the station and on the entrance of the coffee shop.

He had never seen a red brick subway station, but the small square yellow tiles that paved the floor, he was sure he had seen before. They were worn down as if rivers of people had eroded them in time.

“Le Pink Trabant” was the name of the cafe and the sound of laughter and and people talking suddenly seem to come from inside.

He pulled the french stile door and entered. The cafe was empty, the only sound he could hear was of the entrance bell that was hit by the door.

As he stepped further into the cafe , past the entrance archway a cold air came from the left side and pulled him into a darker part of the shop where the light did not reach.

Walking towards the darkness a ray of light hit his eyes from the right.
– There you are! A woman said. You were so late I thought you weren’t going to show up.

Her warm voice filled the room and she hugged him as an old friend would after a long separation.

– Come have seat. She continued to say. The bright orange light of the morning sun peered through the laced curtains and fell on the young woman’s silver blond hair.

– I have good news. She said smiling while reaching for her cup. The tea set was of beautiful pure white china with bright red raspberry motifs. She was wearing a light peach colored suit with an odd looking little white fox on her shoulders.

He never liked dead animal skins.

– My uncle has agreed to fund your expedition, isn’t that great? She said.

– Aah ? Came his first response . I suppose it is.

She was about to sip from the cup , her pink lips just about to touch the brim when she stopped to laugh. She had a sweet laugh and her light blue eyes closed slightly when she laughed.

– Full of enthusiasm as always , can’t you smile for me once? But where are my manners would you like something to drink or eat? This cake is wonderful. Forest berries cream and the turkey sandwiches here are delicious. And with a flick of her had a waiter appeared.

As she engaged in a conversation with the waiter he noticed her long white fingers had black nails that probably were assorted with the black pearls around her neck, ears and hair pins. She wore a wine colored blouse with cleavage that peek through the white fluffy fur that seemed to merge with her long platinum hair. On top she had a butter colored suit and her hair was braided, giving her a rather formal look compared to himself. Her overall features are round and soft, but her face is to long for a woman he thought, and she was too tall for his taste.

Before he could say what he wanted to eat the waiter had turned around and disappeared through an archway. Plants were hanging over it and only now he realized that plants were all over the place,at the bar, in every window , table and separee fence.

-You know you have to put on your best clothes and give a great show? She asked rhetorically. You’ll have to impress them . Your long dandy chestnut hair will impress any girl but not these men, also I insist you get a shave. The whole rugged adventurer look is charming but …

-What, a haircut … and shave?

-I will miss your hair, but such lush locks will probably intimidate the bold and ageing.

-Did you just call my hair dandy? My hair is not dandy …it’s well kept. I’m sure you of all people can appreciate that?

-Indeed I like all things posh. And then she smiled with a trace of malice.

Don’t forget, we’ll meet at…

THE INFERNAL RING of his mobile and he was back in his bed, cold sweat in the damp morning air. He managed to shut the alarm off when a cold wind blew from the window. He fell back into the slightly warm bed. The paint was peeling of the ceiling.

Another day same routine, still balding, still getting fatter …he thought to himself as he was brushing his teeth in front of the mirror. He ran his fingers through his hair to see how far the hairline had receded. The prognosis…not favorable.

 

Hand made halo

Daniel looked around cautiously with increased worry for his film reel. He was making a lot of noise banging the film cases and cursing while searching for his reel , much to Alex’s distress who was trying to remain calm while editing his film at the editing table.

-Dam it! Said Daniel, his brown hair continuously getting in his eyes and for a moment a thought crossed his mid, maybe he should have listened to his mother and cut his hair, but his girlfriend liked it better this way, a little longer.

-Go bang your cases outside! Came Alex’s harsh reply.

-I can’t find my rushes, have you seen it? …it had a Hello kitty sticker on it .

Alex thru him a quick look and smiled maliciously .

– It was my girlfriend’s idea…Said Daniel defensively. She thought the film was gruesome enough and could use some … And then he paused. Maybe I left it down stairs?

-Maybe, why don’t you go check . Replied Alex coldly.

-Paul have you see my film case?

-No, sorry? Came the answer . I’m missing some sequences my self . And Paul’s bloodshot eyes stared absently at Daniel.

-God man! When did you go to bed last night?

-I don’t think I did.

Daniel was franticly searching the room for his film case or reel or anything while his desperation grew as the minutes pasted and the deadline approached.

Paul light a cigar and said.

-You know Laura and Philip have lost some material as well.

-I’m not surprised , it’s a madhouse . Daniel stop searching and stared sadly at the trash can. Maybe someone thought it would be a funny joke, he thought, but didn’t say, as not to be encouraged by Paul.

Andreea entered the room, wearing a purple blouse , she always wore something purple.

-Paul why are you smoking inside?! At least you had the brains to open a window!

Paul’s green eyes turned to the window, he did not remember opening it , he had closed it when he sat at the editing table , but he was to tired to say anything.

Daniel had left the room and now it was Andreea’s turn to search for her reel.

– I left it here! She was lifting some doodle papers that were on the table near the window.

– What did you leave? Asked Paul.

– My film case!

-I don’t remember seeing it there .

-You don’t remember what happened five minutes ago!

-True and you shouldn’t make fun of people with disabilities.

-Is this your idea of a joke ?! Give me my film or I’ll truly disable you! Andreea glazed at him angrily and started walking toward him.

-Hey I didn’t take your film! Cried Paul defensively . I know better than to cross you. Hopping this last remark would appeal to her ego and spare him any pain, for he was to tired to even defend himself.

And Andreea grabbed his cigar threw it out the window and left the room.

– Crazy lady, I pity the poor smuck  who marries you. But this last thought Paul did not dare say out loud.

Two boys were standing in the court yard trying to keep the cigars steady in their trembling hands. Winter was settling in and that meant the exams were closing in.

-What the f***?! Exclaimed one of the boys, his brown eyes following a piece of film that was slowly falling on the cold damp pavement.

-It’s a piece of film. Said the other one, taking his left hand from his pocket and bending to pick it up, so that his short thin jacket raised revealing his back to the cold . Isn’t this a piece of Christian’s film?

-No f***ing way ! The brown eyed boy exclaimed. And they say we’re the f***ing monsters torturing the poor little f***ing bastards , while they’re f***ing playing with our f***ing films , this is f***ed up and I won’t stand for it.

-So what do you suggest we do? Asked the second boy , starting to visibly shake from the cold, while his friend toke one last puff from his cigar.

Although he or better say it was five stories up it was not afraid of the heights for it’s tiny hart could only hold one emotion at the time and right now it was filled with fierce determination and it’s thoughts focused on the task at hand. Mind you holding a reel of film almost as big as your body on a rainy day on top of a tiled roof is no easy task, yet somehow it’s small, white, fluffy  back paws found somehow footing on the slippery tiles while it’s small wings and short tail were keeping some balance  .

-Aha! Found it! NO! Why …why me, why today?!

-Oh cut the melodrama! Said Alex indifferently.

-What is it Daniel ? Asked Larissa with an expression of true concern and placing her small white hand on his shoulder.

-I found my case but is’t empty, completely empty, not a strip of film in it.

-Oh you’ll probably find it where you least expect it. Said Alex rubbing his chin, thinking of letting a goatee grow.

Daniel looked with hate at his colleague and replied :

-Well maybe I should have even taken the film to the toilet or… or slept with it under my pillow like you do, then I wouldn’t be in this mess!

-Yes and I think not leaving everything till the last day would have also helped.

Daniel gave up, there was no way he could have angered the impassive Alex, he would have just turned the insult against him.

The next day the sun was shining, thought the temperature was still low and our little white friend was trying to fit another reel of film through a hole in between the wall of the faculty and a wall belonging to a neighboring house .
Meanwhile the students were panicking at the news that the teacher was coming to see the ruff cuts and they had nothing to present, for one could not admit to loosing the material, it would have meant “death”.
There was no exaggeration in calling misses Toma a dragon lady and the years that have grayed her hair had not dulled her teeth . None of her students dared speak out of terms, be late, delay tasks or do anything she may be consider wrong by her and loosing the film strips was most definitely a wrong thing to do.

-What are we going to do?! Asked Nadia , trying to light another cigarette, her orange colored nails struggling with the lighter, even though she said she had quit smoking .

-I tell you it’ss a consspiracy ! Cried Phillip . There are to many of uss who have losst material, ssomeones iss playing a cruel trick on uss. His words were stressed on the letter  “s” due to his spaced teeth , also his provincial accent became more evident when he got excited .

-Yeah ! Well you explain it to the banshee , although I don’t think she will believe us, not after Paul’s little stunt last year. And Daniel looked in Paul’s direction and took a puff out of Larissa’s cigar, who also claimed recently to have quit smoking.

Paul and Alex were sitting on the other side of the room talking about some long dead philosopher , to busy to notice Daniel’s hateful stare.

-Listen. Said Sebastian, a tall boy with dark hair and a tan complexion, also holding a cigar.  She always says she appreciates honesty and stuff , so let’s BE honest , if we try to find excuses we’ll just be incriminating our selves.

-Pff! Interposed Nadia, rolling her big black eyes.

– Surely she’ll know how to solve this better that us . Continued Sebastian, ignoring Nadia. I mean beating up Paul or David or anyone else we suspect won’t solve anything.

-It will solve a lot ! Interjected Andreea, who had just joined the group.

-Maybe we can ask them nicely…to give them back ? Said Larissa, but quickly quivered under the intense glare of her  colleagues, and tried to hide her face somehow under her blond curls .

-As if they would confess now! Yelled Andreea . They’re in to deep now.I say we beat them up now and ask them later!

– Beat who ? Interfered Paul smiling and holding as usual a cigar . You’re such a violent girl, I like that in a woman.

The makeshift furnace had now reached the necessary temperature and it could now begin burning the film strips in order to extract the silver. It’s little pointy ears listened for the cracks and whistles that may indicate a problem while it’s black button eyes checked the thermometer . It then started to gently place the peaces of cut film in the furnace, careful not to burn his whiskers and his tail was wiggling with delight at the fact that his plan was working.It than sat on a piece of brick calmly waiting and steering at the wrist watch in front of it, the watch was next to a book entitled “Fine Silver Craftsmanship for dummies” that had a picture of a ring on the cover. The heat was starting to become unbearable so it fluttered it’s plushy wings to make some wind and when some sparks came out of the furnace it immediately jumped as not to get touched by them, fortunately it only touched it’s label.

The fact that you  could no longer read very well 70% polyester , 24% cotton and 6% acrylic blended fabric wasn’t a big deal.

-Hey she’s coming!

-F***!

-What do we do?

-Stick to the plan!

-What plan!

-Get rid of the cigars you idiots!

-What the f*** are you calling me an idiot , b****!

-Cut it out you two!

-Quick, the window?

-What?!

-Throw them out!

It raised his little white ears, curios as to the reason for the sudden commotion and saw half a dozen cigars falling toward it.

The End

_______________________________________________________________

I want my chow

I said meow and i mean now

My name is Whiskers and you’re my slave

Give me the food that I crave

Open that can quick as you can

I said meow and I mean now